better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.