Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles