i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
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Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize