Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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