so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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