garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
People in love make me want to vomit
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
