They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
