My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
