booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
