Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
