youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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