im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
