Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
