I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Randomize
