Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
