She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
