Don't you send me to vm
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Randomize
