I wanna bring you to show and tell
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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