why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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