A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
