Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
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