too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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