I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
