I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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