how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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