You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
The beers last night were like the tears from god
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
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