i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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