Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
