Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
how drunk are you?
Several
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
