im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
That accounts for only three of the penises
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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