Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
