she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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