She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
