just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
