i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
