i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
