I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
