can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
