I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
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