No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
