I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
