Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
So much Jack, so little girl.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
