im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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