stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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