Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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