You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Randomize
