I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Be still, my beating vagina.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
