Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
