I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
