I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
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Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
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DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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