have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
