i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
