Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
