WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
