is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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