If i come over, it means nothing
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
