Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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