I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
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