I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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