i barfeds in our rink
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
