69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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