It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
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