I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
