Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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