Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
