I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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