btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
