You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
