let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
So. Much. Porn.
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