Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize