She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
