I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
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