i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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