jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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