you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I enjoy the company of your penis
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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