i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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